Geek Ink Thinks: Things I learnt about myself after being in a relationship

I wrote in a previous post that I won’t be going into details about my split with my ex (and I won’t). However, a friend of mine posted the video above, and it made me realise that there are some things that I learnt about myself that I want to discuss.

My first serious relationship taught me a few things about myself:

I prefer to sleep alone in my own bed

At first I thought this was pretty weird. I then did some research and discovered that one in four people in relationships want to sleep alone, but are too polite to say anything. Guess that I’m not that weird.

I really don’t believe in true love, and good luck once the happy hormones wear off

I entered into the relationship knowing this, and this didn’t change once I left it. Having seen my parents “relationship” become what it is, as well as having a large number of friends who have either had issues with their significant others, or even ended up divorced, I’ve long accepted the fact that true love is something that only exists in Disney movies. The reality is that only in exceptionally rare circumstances do people find the yin to their yang, and the rest have to work really, really hard at their relationships (particularly once the honeymoon period ends).

Knowing this, I really don’t know what my views on long-term relationships are anymore… oh, and don’t get me started on marriage…

I’m really “selfish” with my time

Being in a relationship was a massive change to my introverted lifestyle. One that I’m not sure I was entirely happy with. I went from being the guy who was happy to spend time with people once or twice a week, to spending at least three days a week with my ex, while still trying to find the social energy to touch base with my friends (I refused to be one of those guys who disappeared the moment he got attached).

Being single again has taught me that I honestly love to do a lot of stuff on my own, whether it’s reading, writing, drawing, or playing video games (something I’ve been doing less of since I quit League). The introvert in me really appreciates the time alone to zone out and focus on his internal well being.

I’m not afraid of being single

There are some people who NEED to be in a relationship. I thought I might be (heck, I’m not afraid to admit that I get lonely from time to time), but thankfully I’m not one of those people.

Interpersonal stress really gets to me

Work issues? I might get a bit burnt out. Economy going to hell? Well, not much I can do about that. Ex upset at me over something I accidentally said? No sleep for you tonight buddy! Your mind is going to go into overdrive while you try to figure out a way to patch things up!

I would prefer to be single than break someone’s heart again

Breaking up with my ex was brutal. As I said before, I initiated it and there was a lot of tears (from both sides). Having experienced that once, I never, ever want to put someone through that again. At this point the only way I’ll enter a relationship again is if I meet someone who is looking for something casual (and means it), or I meet someone who I get to know really well before asking them out (I’m talking about months and months of really intimate conversation here people).

What has your relationships taught you about yourself? Feel free to share below or on Facebook!




2 thoughts on “Geek Ink Thinks: Things I learnt about myself after being in a relationship

  1. I used to be a guy who used to love relationships. When I was a teen, I came up with a list of things that I needed to be happy and one of those was a long term love. I had that for seven years then it ended. After that my view on relationships became more defensive. I have serious comittment issues now. I get lonely, I wish there was a way to have someone in your life when you needed them but not be in a serious relationship. Good luck with finding something casual, girls start off saying that they want that but often change their minds when they think you like them.


    1. Thanks man. Not necessarily looking for that, but would probably not say no if it happens to appear.

      I’m also lucky to have strong family support, so don’t really need a girlfriend for when times get tough.


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